


So Far Away

by SkylarJames22



Category: Avenged Sevenfold
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 10:27:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17916989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkylarJames22/pseuds/SkylarJames22
Summary: Brian Haner Jr. locks himself away after the death of best friend and brother, Jimmy Sullivan. Skylar a young friend of the bands family for many years, since high school, comes to check on Brian and finds him holding tightly to the brown and black bottle more than he should.





	So Far Away

**Author's Note:**

> Title Credit: Avenged Sevenfold

I knocked on my best friend’s, ~~my soul mates,~~ door and rang the doorbell repeatedly for the hundredth time. He was ignoring my calls and my text messages. I shouted out maybe he would hear me as I texted it to him, _“Brian I’m about to break into your home if you don’t unlock it for me…”_

I waited a few moments and got nothing, sighing I pulled out my nail kit. Grabbing out my lock pick I unlocked the door. Don’t ask me how I know how to do that or where I learned to do it. I opened the door and walked in, sounding his alarm system. I closed and locked the door quickly. Walking over to his alarm system and pushed the code I knew by heart.

 

“Brian!” I yelled out. He didn’t reply and I slowly walked down the hall, checking room by room for where he might be. I hadn’t seen him, nor anyone had seen him in a couple days. He didn’t reply to my messages since yesterday. I became concerned for my best friend. We had already lost one of our deepest of friends in the last week; I couldn’t bear to lose another.

 

I walked down the steps and checked the last room he might be, his studio. I walked in to see him sound asleep on his couch with guitar on his lap, a bottle of JD sat on the table along with pieces of paper. I sighed; walking over to him slowly I removed the guitar slowly placing it in a stand. I sat on the floor next to him so I was at his eye level; I reached up and brushed his locks from his face, “Bri.” I began to run my fingers through his hair, “Brian.” He grumbled this time, that caused me to smile. Phefta, he was alive, thank God. I sighed, “come on B. Let’s go to bed, this couch has to be uncomfortable.”

 

He opened his eyes slowly and sighed, “what are you doing?”

 

“Checking on you,” I said softly.

 

He nodded, “what time is it?”

 

“Four in the morning,” I said softly.

 

“Fucking,” he groaned.

 

I placed my hand on his chest, “come on, get up and let’s go to bed.”

 

“Only if you’ll stay,” he said softly.

 

I leaned forward, pressing my lips to his forehead, “of course.” He sighed and stood slowly. He stumbled slightly and I caught him, “easy there.”

 

He looked at me, “sorry.”

 

I wrapped my arm around his waist, “come on. I’m tired and you are too.”

 

He leaned his head on mine as we walked the way to his bedroom. He walked in and collapsed on the bed. I sighed, “B, come on, you don’t want to sleep in jeans and that shirt.”

 

“I don’t care,” he said, causing my heart to crack a little more.

 

I sighed and rolled him over, “fine, I’ll take care of you.”

 

He sighed, not fighting me unbuttoning his jeans, then tugging them off. I tugged him by his arms, pulling him up, pushing his shirt up; I then tugged the covers back for him. I carried his dirty clothes to the hamper and dipped in his closet to put on a solid V-neck of his and returned in it.

 

“Are you coming back?” he asked as I returned.

 

“I needed to change too,” I said softly and crawled in next to him. “Come here.” He sighed and wiggled closer, placing his face in the grove of my neck. I wrapped him up in my arms, “I’m not going anywhere B. I’m right here with you.” I kissed the top of his head, “I’m here.”

 

He was heartbroken and I didn’t know what to do, besides be there for him; to hold him; to love him. That’s all I could do, and I would do that.

 

 

I hummed softly as I ran my fingers down his back soothingly, _“you don’t want me no. You don't need me, like I need you oh, like I need you.”_ I looked out at nothing singing softly, “ _and I want you in my life, and I need you in my life. You can’t see me, no, like I see you. I have can’t have you, no, like you have me. And I want you in my life. And I need you in my life…”_ I hummed softly, feeling his grip on me relax more, “ _love…love…love…”_ I felt tears in my own eyes, but held them back. I needed to be strong for him. _“Love, love, love. You can’t feel me no. Like I feel you. I can’t steal you, no. Like you stole me. And I want you in my life. And I need you in my life….”_

 

I kissed the top of his head softly and felt him sigh heavily; he lifted his head up slowly. I sent him a reassuring smile. He spoke softly, “I love it when you sing…it always seems to warm my soul.”

 

I smiled, running my fingers through his hair soothingly, “glad I can be some light in your darkness…”

  

 *~*~*

 

Waking slowly, I felt Brian’s arm wrapped around my waist loosely as he lay on his stomach; face down in his pillow. I lifted his arm slowly, getting up. I walked into the bathroom; I pulled my hair into a messy bun atop my head as I relieved my aching bladder. I glanced in at Brian to see him sleeping soundly and walked downstairs to the kitchen. I rummaged in his fridge for sustenance, sighing at the sight. I pulled out some bacon that was frozen. I placed it in the sink with hot water to thaw. I found some eggs; I cracked them into a warm pan.

 

By the time the bacon and eggs was done I heard footsteps from Brian. Making him a cup of coffee I served up everything on a plate for him, setting it on the island. He walked into the room sitting slowly. I walked over and kissed his cheek, “morning handsome…”

 

He mumbled a morning as he stuffed his face. I sighed and filled a plate myself, slowly began to eat as well. I sipped my coffee, I watched Brian stand walking away. I sighed and rubbed my face. I cleaned up his kitchen, making sure it was spotless. I walked down the hall, picking up the messes as I went. I stuck my head into Brian’s studio where he sat messing with his guitar- a freshly poured drink of JD in his glass.

 

I stepped in slowly; walking in I grabbed the bottle, leaving the glass there. I began cleaning up the mess he had around him. He grumbled, “what are you doing?”

 

I sighed, “cleaning.”

 

“Why?” he asked looking at me.

 

“Because your place is a disaster,” I said softly.

 

“Then leave…” he grumbled.

 

I looked at him, “I’m not leaving. You need me…I need you…”

 

He looked at me and sighed, “Okay, just stop cleaning…I’ll have someone else come do it.”

 

“B, you know my coping is to clean, just let me clean for you,” I said softly. I kissed his forehead, “please lay off the bottle though…please.”

 

He sighed, “fine.”

 

“Write your heart out babe,” I said and kissed his nose softly then walked away.

 

After a couple hours of cleaning, I returned to check on Brian once again to see him asleep on the couch again. I picked up a piece of paper, writing him a note, ‘ _B- I went to the store fast. I’ll be back soon. If you wake while I’m gone, text me if you want anything at the store… <3 Sky.’_ I wrote the time next to my name, so he would know long I was gone.

 

After properly dressing in something other than underwear and an oversize shirt, I found Brian’s wallet on his dresser, along with his keys. I grabbed it and headed out to the store. Stopping at my rental first to get in a clean outfit and a weekender bag.

 

I returned refreshed from the store, I found Brian lying on the couch with his acoustic, strumming softly. I put the groceries I retrieved away and returned to Brian. He looked at me and sighed. I grabbed his guitar from him and strummed it softly.

 

I looked up and saw him watching me, I smiled softly, “what?”

 

He shook his head and I laid the guitar down, “I don't know…”

 

I picked up his arm and slithered my arms around his torso, he embraced me in his arms. I laid my head on his chest. He sighed, “you’re holding it all in…”

 

I shook my head, “no, I’m okay.”

 

“You know I know when you’re lying,” he said softly.

 

I sighed, “I’m trying to be strong for you, you need me B…”

 

He ran his fingers through my hair softly, “I appreciate that, but you were just as close to him as we all were.”

 

I nodded, “I know, but he was your brother…”

 

I sighed and stood up, wandering away. I found myself sitting down at the grand piano situated in the corner of the room. I pushed the key cover up and sighed softly. I began to play softly a little Duran Duran. I was trying to make Brian feel better. He slowly sat next to me, as I sang softly, ‘ _came in from a rainy Thursday on the avenue. Thought I heard you talking softly. I turned on the lights, the TV and the radio. Still I can’t escape the ghost of you. What has happened to it all? Crazy someone say. Where is the life that I recognize? Gone away….”_

 

He sang softly next to me, _“but I won’t cry for yesterday. There’s an ordinary world. Somehow I have to find and as I try to make my way. To the ordinary world, I will learn to survive…”_

_“Passion or coincidence once prompted you to say. ‘Pride will tear us both apart’. Well now prides gone out the window. Cross the rooftops, runaway. Left me in the vacuum of my heart. What is happening to me? Crazy someone say. Where is my friend when I need you most? Gone away...”_ I sang softly as I played the piano.

 

_“But I won't cry for yesterday. There’s an ordinary world. Somehow I have to find and as I try make my way to the ordinary world I will learn to survive,”_ Brian sang again with me watching me play on the keys.

 

_“Papers in the roadside tell of suffering and greed. Fear today, forgot tomorrow. Besides the news of holy war and holy need. Ours is just a little sorrowed talk….”_ I played and tilted my head back slowly, readying for the last bit of the song. _“And I don’t cry for yesterday. There’s an ordinary world, somehow I have to find and as I try to make my way to the ordinary world I will learn to survive. Every world is my world, I will learn to survive. Any world is my world, I will survive. Any world is my world….”_

 

I lowered my hands into my lap slowly, “we will learn to survive.”

 

He nodded and picked up my hands, “together we will.”

 

I leaned my head on his shoulder, “it’ll get better…”

 

He rubbed my shoulder and kissed my forehead, “I love you so much Skylar, don’t ever forget it…”

 

I looked up at him, “I love you too Brian…”

 

His lips danced across mine softly, and I melt into his touch. I truly did love this man. He has been my rock for many years. He pressed his forehead against mine, “I mean it. I love you. I feel like I need to get that off my chest.” I wrapped my hand around the back of his neck as he spoke, “you are always there for me. Thick and thin. Happy or angry. You are here…with me. “ He sighed and pulled me closer, “I love you so damn much. Don’t ever leave me.”

 

I wrapped my arms around his shoulder, “I won’t go anywhere, so don’t you leave me either…”

 

He smiled and kissed me again softly, which I gladly returned with just as much emotion. He broke away slowly and laid his head on my shoulder, “I need to go back to the studio…”

 

I nodded, “I’ll be here, let me know if you need me.”

 

He kissed me softly again before disappearing to his in house studio. I sighed; that man was so broken hearted from loss, it crushed me more.

 

 *~*~*

 

I had been here a week making sure Brian was okay and handling the loss okay. There was a ring at the doorbell; I pulled myself from my thoughts in my drawing I was creating. I stood slowly and disarmed the alarm before opening the door to see Matt Sanders, Zach Baker, Jonathan Seward and Valery Sanders hiding behind the boys. I smiled, “guys.”

 

“We haven’t heard from Brian in days, we came to check on him,” Matt said stepping into the room as I stepped aside.

 

I nodded, “he’s been hanging in there. Quiet, but he’s okay. I’ll let him know you guys are here.”

 

They nodded and retreated to the living room, while I slipped down the hall to find Brian in his studio. I waited in the doorway waiting for him to notice me, not wanting to disturb his deep thoughts as he played. He glanced up slowly, a small smile twitching at his lips, “hey.”

 

“Hey you have some guests in the living room,” I said softly.

 

“The guys?” he asked leaning back in his chair with his guitar. I nodded, “you can send them down.”

 

I nodded and stepped in for a moment, “whatever you were working on, I like it.”

 

He smiled, “really?”

 

I nodded and kissed his lips, “let me know if you need me…”

 

He smiled, “I’ll let you know…”

 

It was nice to see his smile coming back slowly. I made my way out of the room and down the hall, “he is in the studio, go ahead and join him.”

 

Matt held up one of my drawings, “you draw this?”

 

I smiled, “of course.” I walked over to see which drawing he held closer. I smiled at the white rabbit in a mid century coat, holding a pocket watch. It was one of my recent ones.

 

“This is awesome, I forgot how talented your handwork is,” he said smiling.

 

“Thanks Mattie,” I said as he hugged my shoulders.

 

The boys soon disappeared down the hall and I was left with Val. I sat down picking up my drawing board and pencils. She sat down in the oversized chair next to me, “so this is where you have been the last few days?”

 

I nodded, “when I hadn’t heard from Brian at all, I came to check on him.”

 

She nodded, “I went by your place the other day to see if you wanted to do lunch, but you weren’t there.”

 

I nodded, “he’s kept me busy. He hides in the studio most of the time. He has been a bit of a wreck until recently.”

 

“Matt too, all he does is play his games,” she said sighing.

 

I nodded and set my drawing down when I heard Brian screaming my name, like an idiot. I rolled my eyes, “I’m being summoned…”

 

She chuckled, “at least he is starting to sound himself again.”

 

“Today is really the best day, so far, ” I said softly as I stood to walk down to the studio.

 

I entered the doorway, “you summoned me?”

 

He smiled, “come here…” I raised an eyebrow and walked over to him, “will you do me a favor?” I nodded as he held up what he had been writing. “I can’t do it.”

 

I saw Val standing in the door way and the guys all-watching this unfold. I took the papers he had scribbled on, “with everyone here?”

 

He sighed, “don’t be shy… You know everyone…”

 

“I’ll sing it just for you, but not with everyone…” I said pushing my hair behind my ear.

 

“Alright, you heard her…” Brian said pushing himself towards his recording setup.

 

“You want me to record it….” I said softly.

 

He nodded, “please…it doesn’t have to be perfect. I just want them to hear it.”

 

I sighed, “okay.” I sat myself in front of the hanging microphone, grabbing the headphones, placing them on my ears. I closed my eyes as the guys all scrammed out of the room.

 

 *~*~*

 

After Brian tweaked everything, he had me get the guys; they all returned this time. He looked at me, “ready?” I nodded slowly as I heard the strumming of the guitar begin to play.

 

_‘_ _Never feared for anything. Never chained but never free. A light that healed the broken heart with all that it could… Lived a life so endlessly. Saw beyond what others see. I tried to heal your broken heart, with all that I could. Will you stay? Will you stay away forever? How do I live without the ones I love? Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned. Place and time always on my mind. I have so much to say but you're so far away. Plans of what our futures hold; foolish lies of growing old. It seems we're so invincible. The truth is so cold. A final song, a last request. A perfect chapter laid at rest. Now and then I try to find a place in my mind. Where you can stay. You can stay awake forever. How do I live without the ones I love? Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned. Place and time always on my mind. I have so much to say but you're so far away….’_

I looked at the expressions of everyone as the song built up. _‘Sleep tight I'm not afraid. The ones that we love are here with me. Lay away a place for me, 'Cause as soon as I'm done I'll be on my way to live eternally!’_ my voice hitting a high note perfectly.

_‘How do I live without the ones I love? Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned. Place and time always on my mind, and the light you left remains but it's so hard to stay. When I have so much to say and you're so far away…’_

 

The music died off and I sang softly right then and there, “ _and I loved you, you were ready! The pain is strong and urges riiissssse! But I’ll see you when he let’s me. Your pain is gone, you hands are untied_.” I closed my eyes softly, “ _so far away….and I need to, I need you to know….”_

 

Brian looked at me in shock that I just came up with that, but smiled softly; tears in his eyes along with everyone else. I wiped my own cheeks, “sorry, it came to me…”

 

“That was amazing. Brian did you write that?” Matt asked.

 

Brian nodded, “all of it, but the what she just belted out for us…that, that was all her.”

 

I wiped my cheeks, “I’ll- I’ll be back.” I hurried out and the room fell silent. I slipped out the back door of the house and I stood on the edge of the deck.

 

“I loved you asshole, I fucking loved you!” I yelled out at the sky. “Who the fuck am I going to cry to now when my heart gets stepped on!? You were my best fucking friend! You were my fucking rock! Damn it!” I screamed and tossed a random candle vase on the deck throwing it out, letting it shatter. “You just think it’s okay to leave us damn it! To leave me…” I fell to the ground sobbing, and said softer, “who is going to skip with me at random moments and sing stupid rap songs?”

 

I felt someone sit on the edge of the deck next to me and saw Val. She wrapped her arms around me, “you two were like two perfect peas in a pod.”

 

I sniffled, “he was the one that told me to never let my weirdness get left in the dark…”

 

She nodded, “he wouldn’t want you to push that away now.”

 

I sighed, “I’m sorry you saw that.” I looked behind me and she smiled, “they’re still inside, though they might have heard you scream and throw that pretty vase.”

 

“Fuck that pretty vase, it wasn’t pretty enough for this patio,” I said flipping it off as it lay in a pile of pieces below.

 

She chuckled, “there’s the Skylar we know and love.” I sighed and she stroked my head softly, “you hadn’t had a breakdown like that yet, had you?”

 

I shook my head, “no, I was being strong for Brian.”

 

“But you needed this, you needed a release too,” she told me as she held me close. I sighed and laid my head on her shoulder. We sat there for a moment in silence until she spoke, “how are things going with you and Brian then?”

 

I shrugged, “I don’t know. He said he loved me, but I don’t know if he is just saying it or what…”

 

“But we all know you love him and I’m pretty sure he loves you too,” she said softly. “Give it time…”

 

I nodded, “I have been for a very long time though Val.”

 

“I know,” she said and smiled. “Let’s get back in shall we?”

 

I sighed and nodded, walking back in with her. The guys all sat in the living room, talking, laughing. I walked over to sit on the table, but Brian reached out for me to sit with him. I smiled, letting him pull me into his arms. I laid my head on his shoulder and he asked softly, “you okay?” I nodded and he pressed his lips to my forehead, “don’t worry about the vase…it’s replaceable.” I smiled and nodded, “okay.”

 

Val looked at me smiling widely at me as she sat on the oversized chair with Matt. The guys continued to tell their stories and smiles were being shed all around. It made for a better day. We all needed this.

 

 *~*~*

 

By the time the guys all left, Skylar was in a deep sleep in my arms on the couch. I stroked her cheek softly, she didn’t stir; she was exhausted. I don’t really know when the last time she actually slept. Weeks probably. I lifted myself slowly only to get a whimper from her small figure. I smiled and kissed her forehead; she wrapped her arms around my neck tighter.

 

“I’m not letting you go,” I said softly as I walked down the hall. I lowered her down into my bed and she reached out for me. I chuckled and kissed her nose, “it’s okay. I’ll be right back.” She opened her eyes up at me quickly. She was lost. She had broken down. I pressed my lips to hers softly, “I’m going to lock up, then we can both sleep.”

 

She let me go and I walked down the hall. I armed the alarm system and walked back to the bedroom. She sat there in the middle of the bed, staring at nothing. I slipped from my shirt and jeans. I looked over at her, placing the shirt I just wore on the edge of the bed. She looked at me then at her hands. I stroked her cheek softly, “come on, let’s get you out of these tight clothes.”

 

She looked at me, but almost through me. I sighed softly, tugging her top off of her and her bra. She just sat there as I pulled the v-neck I had just worn down over her frame. I reached down and tugged her jeans off. She crawled away from when they were off, laying down this time.

 

I sighed and crawled into the bed next to her. I pulled her into my frame; she lay limp. I sighed, kissing her forehead, “Sky. Come on.” She looked at me and I caressed her cheek, “come on, I’m not going to let you go now.” She nodded and curled into me. I sighed softly, “that’s it. You can hold me as tight as you need too.”

 

She nodded lacing her legs with mine. I reached down between us readjusting myself. I didn’t need my dick getting in the way of this. I stroked her cheek softly. I hummed softly, kissing her forehead. “Skylar?” She lifted her head up to look at me. “Can I talk to you?” she nodded slowly. “About us?” She nodded. I ran my finger over her plump peach lips, “I love you so much. I want to make this thing we got going to more. I want you in every way possible. I want you to move in with me…”

 

“You want me to move in?” she asked softly.

 

“I see the future with just you, I have for a really long time,” I said softly. “I just don’t want to waste another moment.” I stroked her cheek, “I want to marry you one day…”

 

“Brian are you proposing to me?” she asked softly, her eyes softening.

 

“If I was, what would you say?” I asked softly. I hoped she’d say yes. I didn’t want to lose her next.

 

She smiled warmly, “I’d love to marry you B. I love you so much too.”

 

I smiled and kissed her lovingly, “God I love you so much.” She kissed me back, tears seeping down her cheek onto mine. I truly did love her more than words could explain. We had been friends since high school. We had tried an ‘us’ in high school, but we both had our own way of life at the time. Tour came and I found the need to bounce from bed to bed for a while, she had done the same. Eventually, it was just her over and over again, but with no us. Just sex.

 

 


End file.
